A Collection of Humorous Anecdotes and Sayings

Once again, I've been recording but not posting these little snippets of conversation from our three funny "big" kids. So here you have several months' worth of funnies to laugh over--starting from before Clara was born!

Sibling Spats

Abby was upset at Lydia over some spat, so she turned to her and said stormily, "I not your sisser. I only 'Siah's brother!"

 L on the left, A on the right

Abby came sobbing to me. "What's wrong?" I said.

" 'Siah say I'm Abby!" she cried.

"Well, who are you?" I asked.

"I'm a mama lamb!" she said.

Once we got Josiah to agree to call her a "mama lamb," she cheered right up.

 Abby demonstrates her love for her "little horse"

Another day Abby clung to the red coupe car and screamed as Lydia tried to drive it. I took her aside to calm her down and find out what was happening. The source of her consternation was that the car was actually "a horse named Sheep," and Lydia had "stolen" it from her.

L in helmet, A in hat

Abby, wailing during naptime: "Lydia ate my bone!"

A on left, L on right; A is imitating L's thumb-sucking (she doesn't do it anymore)

Abby

 

Games

Abby and Lydia like to play "mama lamb" and "baby lamb." Usually Abby is the mama and Lydia the baby. Abby lifts her shirt so the baby lamb can "nurse" from her belly button. One day, though, Abby decided to be the baby when the kids were building a castle indoors. "I'm a baby lamb!" she announced. "I need milk. Li-ya, you my mama."

Lydia responded, "I'm not a mama; I'm a queen."

And Josiah chimed in, "Queens don't have milk!"

Back in early December, Josiah orchestrated a Santa Claus game, in which he was Santa and Lydia and Abby were his reindeer. My mom (who was still with us at that point, having come for a month after Clara's birth) joined them outside, and he asked her to play.

"Who am I?" she asked.

"My wife," he said. "You clean the house."

Later that evening, as we ate dinner, Josiah asked if Santa would come soon. I reiterated that Santa is a fun story, but not exactly real. Before I launched into a short explanation of Saint Nicholas, Josiah affirmed, "Santa's just a fake old guy."

 Josiah and Abby today

One day in December, Abby sat on the floor looking through a book about dinosaurs. She loudly "read" about each one with lots of commentary and details. Listening in, I heard her say, "He has AMAZIN' teef!"

Josiah and Abby on a hike

The other day, the three came riding by on their bikes, Josiah leading the pack. "Lydia's horse is named Thunderbolt, and mine is Electricity!" he said.

Abby came behind and added, "And I have a bull!"

Lydia with her "horsie," showing me where to pet it

Names

All three kids are interested in their middle names. They went through a phase a few months ago in which they liked to have us tell the "story" behind their names--whom they're named after, who else shares their middle name, etc. For a time Lydia has insisted on using her first and middle name. Often she corrected us if we refer to her just as "Lydia." "I'm Lydia Wiolet," she said. Josiah asked her something one day and just called her by her first name. She corrected him, and he responded, frustrated, "Sometimes I just call you Lydia!"

Lydia

While finishing up in the bathroom one day, Lydia recounted the story of the rooster who chased her at my aunt and uncle's house in Michigan. "That chicken chase me!" she said, full of seriousness at the gravity of the memory. "I'm Lydia Wiolet Nooman! I run fast!"

In the vein of names, the kids have also been interested in everyone else's full name. We've gone through the list of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents' names many times. For some reason, Abby has latched onto my mom's name--Sharon Lee.

Jeremy read the story of Pharoah's daughter finding baby Moses the other night from the kids' Bible story book. Afterwards, he asked them a few questions. "What was the baby's name?" he said. Abby promptly replied, "Shawon Lee!" (She says it all run together, as if it's one word.)

She has also named a little toy dog Sharon Lee, and one night at the playground speculated that a little girl there was named Sharon Lee. Before Clara was born, she suggested that as a name for our new baby, too!

Abby

Abby climbed up on the bed beside me and observed me nursing. She propped Jeremy's pillow behind her back and then attempted to cross her legs like mine. "I'm a mama, too!" she announced.

I asked her, "Do you want to get your baby doll and nurse her?"

"No," she replied. "My baby's in my belly!" She pooched it out and patted it.

"What's your baby's name?" I asked.

"Shawon Lee," was the confident reply.

Cheer-leading, Convincing, Coercing?

I changed Abby's diaper one night a few months ago as Jeremy started the other two kids on toy clean-up before bed. When I finished with Abby, I dispatched her to help the others. She stopped at the gate to the living room and surveyed the toys, job, and siblings. Then she said to Josiah and Lydia, in a very animated voice, "Good job! Gimme a high five!" She repeated this several times without joining in the work until we compelled participation.

 Abby and her "toof"

One night shortly after Clara's birth, Lydia sat on Grandma McNinch's lap and did a puzzle. As she placed the last piece, she exclaimed, "Hurray! I did it! I did a GREAT job! Save us, Kind Policeman! Save the townspeople! B! S! B! S! B! S! XYZ next time won't you sing with MEEEE!"

Josiah, trying to convince Abby to accompany him on the slide: "C'mon, Ab! You will enjoy it!"

Josiah: "Sharin' is fun! So you hafta share, Ab!"

Abby in a hat from Grandma McNinch

Josiah: "You should marry me, Abby. Hey Ab, you should marry me! You should marry me, Ab!! . . . [coaxingly] I have a mouse!"

Josiah, showing his appreciation for Jeremy building or making something for him: "Thanks, Dad! You're a good apple!" (He got this phrase from a Davey and Goliath show.)

Mistaken Theology

Overheard through the kitchen window, as Abby and Lydia played outside . . .
Abby: "Now it's time for your nap, Little Lord Jesus!"

Lydia: [mumbles something babyish and unintelligible]

Abby: "Now it's my turn! I'm Little Lord Jesus!"

Lydia: "NO! I'm Little Lord Jesus!"

[Screeching, crying, fighting]

Abby: "We both be Little Lord Jesus! Two Little Lord Jesuses!"

Jeremy watched some of the Democratic presidential debate online a couple months ago (or whenever one of the first ones was!). The kids, of course, felt the pull of the computer and video and sat on and around Jeremy to watch it, too. Josiah kept asking questions about the candidates as they talked: "What's his name? Why?" and then, "Why is he angry?" "He's not obeying God either!"

As I wished the kids goodnight one evening, Josiah informed me, "God knows how to do elfin magic!"

In the bird hat from Grandma McNinch

Jer: "Come to the bathroom and go potty,  Lydia!"
Lydia: "I'm on my way . . . to heaven . . ."

Lydia reported one day, "I am the doodest [goodest] one!"

Lydia

Abby got an owie on a hike

Abby and Lydia were supposed to be taking a nap. I checked on them when I heard angry voices and crying. Upset, Lydia indignantly said, "I not in charge [meaning "inspired," I believe] by the Holy Spirit! Abby say I am! I not!"

Abby smugly shot back, "You in charge by the Holy Spirit!"

(They had recently learned a catechism question about the "chosen men who were inspired by the Holy Spirit" to write the Bible.)

Jeremy took Josiah along with him to purchase a saw he found in a craigslist ad. The seller's home happened to be near Home Depot, so they drove by the store on the way. When they got to the seller's place and completed the tool transaction in his garage, Josiah said, "It's like a little Home Depot!"

When Clara was still in utero, Lydia liked to give my belly kisses and often said, "I wuv my baby sisser." She usually continued her list of "wuvs"; one day it went as follows: "I wuv my Mama, too. I wuv my Glala [Grandma]. I wuv two glalas. I wuv Daddy, and 'Siah, and Abby, and soccer . . . I wuv all things!" (More recently she's added "two Pas" and "Shashy" to the list, and the "I wuv all things" is an echo of the catechism questions the kids have been learning [Q: What else did God make? A: God made all things.])

Me: "Are you crazy?"
Lydia: "No! I'm a sweet sisser!"

Baby-related

Abby leaned up against my postpartum belly as I sang to her before bedtime. She said in a cheerful, encouraging voice, "You're just getting fatter and fatter!"
 

 Abby

Lydia watched me nursing Clara and stuck her baby doll under her shirt. "I'm nuh-sin'!" she said. "I have boobs?"

 Lydia and Clara

Lydia ran up to me with a little strip of paper that had writing on it. She held it up with both hands and declared, "Stop! This says 'Stop nursin' Flara!'"

Josiah has asked me several times since Clara's birth if I have another baby in my belly. "When is the next baby coming?" he's asked, too. At lunch one day he said, "Maybe we should pray for God to send us another baby."

Lydia got sad and teary when I said I had given away the second swing and second carseat we had when the twins were babies. I explained we didn't need them anymore, since Clara was just one baby--not two like Lydia and Abby. "I wanna be a baby now!" Lydia said. "Not Abby. I want to be a baby with Flara! Flara and me be babies."

 

 

 

Bellies, Bums, and Bones

The kids ate a big lunch the other day--each ate significantly more than I ate at the meal. So I asked, rhetorically, "What are we going to do when you guys are teenagers?" Lydia promptly replied, "Take naps!"

 Watching the Rose Bowl (yes, a while ago now!)

Josiah to Jeremy: "You have a big big BIG bum! I call it 'funny-bum'!"

Josiah objected to someone's stench

Josiah: "My tummy aches in my belly."

Abby: "Somethin' is botherin' me on my leg. It's a bug. The bug ate and ate my bones."

 Abby does crazy tricks on the rings! (Looks like her bones are fine :))

Lydia, using the little potty as I used the big potty: "Why mamas wipe their own bums? When I'm a mama, I wipe your bum!"

Josiahisms

Josiah: "I'm tired of looking up at everybody."

 
Josiah to me: "When will you die, Mom?"

Josiah: "We eat regular food. Glala makes different food!"

Me: "Mrs. Angell is coming over with her husband."
Josiah: "Is he black or gray?"

Josiah hit Abby on the head with his Duplo hammer. When I reprimanded him, he said, "It was an accident! I thought Abby was a rock!"

Abby

Oh, Lydia

Here are some Lydia-isms . . .

Lydia: "Mama, you disobeyin' when you eat!"

Lydia, sitting on the toilet, to me: "You uggy as a bug!"

Lydia, to me: "Daddy be the daddy, I be the Mama, and you be the child!"

Me: "You need to wear a shirt, Lydia. Otherwise you'll get cold."
Lydia, holding a wet rag up to her chest: "This rag will teep me tumfortable!"

Lydia, after being disciplined for naughty naptime behavior: "Please you love me?"
Me: "I never stop loving you! I always love you!"
Lydia: "You love me when you die?"

The scooter crew