Josiah's Funnies

And we can't leave Josiah out of the fun, so here are some funnies from him of late . . .

1. Toilet Talk

Josiah, commenting on the toilet's contents: "That poop looks salty."

Josiah on the toilet: "Mom! How am I gonna turn back into a boy?!"
Me: "What are you?"
Josiah: "A rabbit."

2. Affection's Whims

Josiah turned to me suddenly one day and said, "Mom, I like you so much. I want to keep you forever and ever!"

After hurriedly drawing with markers, Josiah held up his paper and said, "Mom, look at my picture! Do you like it? It's a masterpiece." (He learned this word from Art Dog.)

Josiah to me: "A boy is a son. I'm not your son! I'm Sergeant Murphy!"

We've outlawed sticks, PVC pipes, swords, and other such weapons from indoor use. So when Josiah attempted to bring his pirate sword in the door, I said, "You need to take that sword outside, Josiah."

He replied, "But I'm a fighter. I'm gonna fight bad moms!"

3. Biblical Faux Pas

Jeremy played some Veggie Tales songs for the kids to dance to one evening. Josiah usually requests the Daniel songs--which he did this night. As the song about Daniel (sung/played by Larry the Cucumber) played and lions growled in the background, Abby asked, "Baby lions?" Jeremy explained they were big, hungry lions--not babies. "Why'd they want to eat Daniel, Dad?" Josiah asked. "They like cucumbers?" Guess we've got some Biblical reteaching to do after misinforming Josiah via Veggie Tales . . .

I stayed with the kids in the van while Jeremy ran into a store one evening. Josiah was grumpy and impatient. He kicked at the seat in front of him and generally acted out-of-sorts. Then he said, angrily, "I wish God would send Samson to knock down that building," pointing to the store we happened to be parked in front of at the strip mall--which was a haircutting place.

4. Uncategorized

For the last couple months, Josiah has been vastly interested in ropes, strings, and generally tying things and people up. One morning he ran inside apparently concerned and surprised: "Abby's tied like a little doggie to my bike and she can't get out. She needs help!" he said.

As I cooked in the kitchen, I overheard Josiah talking to one of his sisters. He said, "Forget it, kid. You're doomed."

As I put sunscreen on Josiah one day, he looked down at his arms and objected: "But Mom, I don't wanna be a white boy!"

Jeremy took Josiah along to Ace Hardware one night a month or so ago. When they exited after making their purchases, Josiah exclaimed in surprise and delight, "Look, Dad! Nobody stole our car!"

Lydia's Funnies

Abby isn't the only funny girl in our house! Lydia is a sweet and earnest little spitfire with lots of ideas and an increasing vocabulary, too. So of course, I've got some memorable sayings from her, too. In no particular order, here we go . . .

Lydia has surprised me by being more interested than Abby in wearing "big girl undies" and doing her business on the potty. She likes to handle most of the process by herself: putting on the kid seat, flushing afterwards, pumping the soap, etc. "Me do it mineself!" is her common refrain. But apparently her own efforts on the toilet weren't enough the other day. As she strained to poop on the potty, she said, "You help me, Mama. You push on my head."

All three kids like to ask questions about and discuss the new baby. Early on in my pregnancy--shortly after my initial doctor's appointment (to which everyone accompanied me in order to see the initial ultrasound)--Lydia firmly decided she did not want a baby in her belly. She saw the connection between pregnancy and doctor's appointments. But she also somehow believes driving and pregnancy are mutually exclusive. . . . Often she tells me, "Me, drow up, no baby belly! Me DRIVE!"

(On the other hand, Abby still plans to have children when she "drows up." One day she watched me take prenatal vitamins and said excitedly, "Me drow up, have baby in mine belly, me take pills!")

L on left, A on right

At lunchtime the other day, Lydia turned to Abby and said, "Look, Ab. You in jail. See the bars?" and she pointed to the chair rungs. She repeated herself a few times--"See the bars? You in jail!"

One morning as the kids played outside, I saw Abby ride across the yard on Lydia's bike with a little smirk on her face. Josiah rode after her, shouting to Lydia, "Look, Lydia! Abby's riding your bike!" Lydia stood on the patio coffee table, pointed at Abby, and declared, "Feef! Feef!" ("Thief!")

 Lydia at the 4th of July parade in Flagstaff. She loves her sunglasses!

Lydia plans to be an independent woman when she "drows up," but she also is interested in marriage lately. Grandma C. let her wear her ring occasionally when they stayed here a couple weeks ago. This past week Lydia slid a canning ring up her arm and said, "This my ring! I married!" I asked her whom she married, and she thought a second before saying, "Pa!"

More recently she told me at breakfast time, "I drow up, get ring. I say, 'Yes!' I love him!"
"Who do you love?" I asked.
"The guy," she said.

Abby's Funnies

As usual, I've accumulated kid funnies over the months and now have a plethora to organize and post. Seeing as Abby has provided me with plenty of fodder lately, I thought I'd start with just her--so here's the first ever edition of Abby's humorous sayings!

1. Abby the Agitator

Abby seems so sweet and little and babyish at first blush, but she can be daring, stubborn, defiant, and loud, too! She certainly knows how to bug her sister as well.

On a trip home from the library one day, I overheard this conversation between the sisters in the back of the car . . .
Abby: "You people, Li-ya!"
Lydia: "No! Me not people!"
Abby: "You people."
Lydia, yelling: "No!"
[Repeated till parental intervention.]

Then two seconds later . . .
Lydia: "You people, Aya-bee!"
Abby: "No! You people."
Lydia: "No! You people."
Abby: "No! You people."
Etc.

One afternoon a couple weeks ago, the girls were supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, they stood in their cribs and talked to each other. But the conversation quickly went south, as I heard Lydia crying tragically and shouting. I discovered Abby had been antagonizing Lydia by claiming she herself was Lydia:
Abby: "Me Li-ya!"
Lydia: "No! Me Li-ya!"
Abby: "You not Li-ya. Me Li-ya!"
Lydia, very upset: "NO! ME LI-YA!"
Abby, still quietly composed: "Me Li-ya!"
Lydia, wailing: "NO! NO, Abby! ME LI-YA!"
Etc.

One day in response to my instruction and then prompting to say "Yes, Mama," Abby looked at me and tried a comply-and-defy technique: "Yes, Dad," she responded, pointedly.

2. Abby Learning Anatomy

I had just knelt down to help Abby into her pants, when I noticed she was looking intently at my face. She then pointed to my eyebrows: "Loo [you] has two beards, Mama!" she exclaimed.

  3. Abby's Literary References

Abby, poking Jeremy: "You in jail!"
Jeremy: "What?! Why am I in jail?"
Abby: "You a dirty rat!"
(Background: we've recently read and watched the Richard Scarry story of Cous-Cous, the Algerian detective, who nabs Pepe le Gangstair and his "band of dirty rats"--thus Abby's reference.)

Abby and Josiah were swordfighting one day. Josiah whacked her sword, and then Abby took the offensive, shouting, "En garde! Touche!" (Art Dog is a favorite storybook these days.)

4. Sisterhood

Jeremy cut down lots of branches in our back ditch yesterday. Josiah picked out a couple good-looking sticks and begged Jer to make him a "bow and arrow." So Jeremy strung the sticks with string, and Josiah and the girls are in bow heaven . . . except that there are two working bows between the three of them. So this morning they came in after playing with the bows . . .

Josiah: "Mama, I shared my bow with Li-ya!"
Me: "That's great! I'm glad you guys are sharing so well."
Abby: "I not share with Li-ya."
Me: "Well, that's not very kind."
Abby, with very sweet voice: "I share with Li-ya next week!"

On Our Bookshelf (Vol. 1)

Perhaps one of my greatest educational goals for my children is that they love words and books and reading. So far we're off to a good start!

The girls' attention spans have lengthened considerably in the last several months. They pester us with requests to read to them, and they'd be happy if I read book after book for an hour or more at a time. Often I find them paging through books on their own or together. They're happy to do "book time" in the morning right after breakfast (I have them sit in their seats at the table and look through a stack of books while I clean up the kitchen).

I especially love seeing the two curly heads bent together over a book as they explain and point out favorite and familiar details. They also like to sit with Josiah and look through books--he's even taken to "reading" to them occasionally from books he's memorized (like Bears on Wheels or Old Hat, New Hat). And now even the girls have learned some Dr. Seuss rhymes by heart! If I pause in The Cat and the Hat, they can fill in the missing words.

What books have we enjoyed lately? McCloskey is a good place to start!

We love Blueberries for Sal and its companion, One Morning in Maine. Make Way for Ducklings and Lentil are also staples on our shelf. Robert McCloskey's endearing characters; detailed and wonderful charcoal illustrations; engaging storylines; and strong sense of place appeal to me as well as to my children. I'd much rather read a McCloskey book than another Dr. Seuss!

Of course, I'm not against Dr. Seuss, and we own plenty of his books. Jeremy found an audio recording of several Seuss books at the library; Josiah has enjoyed listening to that--and is especially interested in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. ("It's NOT a 'wonderful, awful idea,' " he objects to us every time--"It's a BAD and AWFUL idea!") The girls like to recite parts of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, and Abby particularly likes The Cat in the Hat books. Hop on Pop, The Sneetches and Other Stories (I always hear an echo of our old friend Sven's voice when I read this one!), and the Horton books go in and out as popular choices, too.

Amongst front-runner favorites are Richard Scarry's books. These keep the kids entertained on their own for a while!

They're more about the pictures than the stories, but the kids do enjoy the recurring characters (Huckle and Lowly, of course--but Goldbug and Sergeant Murphy and Bananas Gorilla are also well-beloved).

I grew up on Arnold Lobel classics like Frog and Toad and Mouse Soup. My three have enjoyed many a story by him! Our Mouse Tales book got so torn up that I had to throw it out. Josiah currently likes the "Cookies" story best in Frog and Toad, but a few months ago he thought almost constantly about the Christmas story, in which Toad intended to defend Frog by using a frying pan to knock the teeth out of a dangerous animal.

Gregory Griggs was a thrift store find--lots of fun (and some pretty obscure) rhymes with Lobel's quirky illustrations. Josiah loves it. I'd also like to get my hands on The Arnold Lobel Treasury of Mother Goose Rhymes. 

I've collected several P.D. Eastman books over the last couple years, and everybody likes them: Go, Dog, Go! wears its tape well but will probably need replacement soon. Sam and the Firefly, The Best Nest, Robert the Rose Horse, Are You My Mother? and others are in regular rotation here. For some time Josiah liked to imitate Robert with dramatic [fake] sneezes, inserted at intervals throughout our day. "You fall down flat, Mom!" he'd say after each sneeze.

While I'm not a big fan of most of the Berenstain Bears series, these beginner books are fun. The kids love to read them on repeat and can recite much of them!

One childhood Christmas, my beloved Aunt Patti gave my siblings and me Our Animal Friends on Maple Hill Farm by Alice and Martin Provensen. We grew up loving it, and we enjoyed a few other books by the Provensens, too (like The Glorious Flight about Louis Bleriot). Lydia, Abby, and Josiah have all made friends of Old Eleven, Ichabod and Comanche, Dinah and Muffin, Max, and others at Maple Hill Farm in the last couple months!

I discovered A Visit to William Blake's Inn at the library--the Provensens illustrated it, and Nancy Willard's clever and oft-fantastical poems are just delightful--reminiscent of and adulatory toward Blake, of course, but also good and fun in their own right. I thought the poetry would be too far above my kids, but Josiah actually loved this book and requested it often before we had to return it. It won a Newberry Medal.

Peter Spier is another award-winning author/illustrator . . .

I remember poring over the pictures in his Noah's Ark as a child. My kids love this book dearly. We've also enjoyed The Erie Canal and The Fox Went Out on a Chilly Night. Sonlight Curriculum's preschool program includes Spier's People, which also sounds like a good one.

Ah, Tomie DePaolo. I mainly remember "reading" Pancakes for Breakfast (a story told in pictures) when I was a child. I've introduced my children to Finn M'Coul and several Strega Nona books, as well as a few others here and there as I find them at the library. They do like Strega Nona!

As I list books and authors we love, I'm reminded of many more I haven't yet included! Since I'm short on time and overdue for a post, though, I'll wrap up with just a couple more we regularly enjoy . . .

Caps for Sale has everyone laughing at and imitating the naughty monkeys.

While the illustrations in Something from Nothing perhaps could use some improvement, they're still engaging and detailed--with little mice pictured on the bottom strip of each page living life below the floors of the Jewish family. The refrains and rhymes of the story are verbally appealing, and I just like the glimpse of warm, communal European Jewish life in Josef's home.

How could I omit Virginia Lee Burton, Barbara Cooney, Lynd Ward, Else Homelund Minarik, Maurice Sendak, and so many others? Maybe I'll just have to write another picture-book post sometime soon!