Josiah's Funnies

And we can't leave Josiah out of the fun, so here are some funnies from him of late . . .

1. Toilet Talk

Josiah, commenting on the toilet's contents: "That poop looks salty."

Josiah on the toilet: "Mom! How am I gonna turn back into a boy?!"
Me: "What are you?"
Josiah: "A rabbit."

2. Affection's Whims

Josiah turned to me suddenly one day and said, "Mom, I like you so much. I want to keep you forever and ever!"

After hurriedly drawing with markers, Josiah held up his paper and said, "Mom, look at my picture! Do you like it? It's a masterpiece." (He learned this word from Art Dog.)

Josiah to me: "A boy is a son. I'm not your son! I'm Sergeant Murphy!"

We've outlawed sticks, PVC pipes, swords, and other such weapons from indoor use. So when Josiah attempted to bring his pirate sword in the door, I said, "You need to take that sword outside, Josiah."

He replied, "But I'm a fighter. I'm gonna fight bad moms!"

3. Biblical Faux Pas

Jeremy played some Veggie Tales songs for the kids to dance to one evening. Josiah usually requests the Daniel songs--which he did this night. As the song about Daniel (sung/played by Larry the Cucumber) played and lions growled in the background, Abby asked, "Baby lions?" Jeremy explained they were big, hungry lions--not babies. "Why'd they want to eat Daniel, Dad?" Josiah asked. "They like cucumbers?" Guess we've got some Biblical reteaching to do after misinforming Josiah via Veggie Tales . . .

I stayed with the kids in the van while Jeremy ran into a store one evening. Josiah was grumpy and impatient. He kicked at the seat in front of him and generally acted out-of-sorts. Then he said, angrily, "I wish God would send Samson to knock down that building," pointing to the store we happened to be parked in front of at the strip mall--which was a haircutting place.

4. Uncategorized

For the last couple months, Josiah has been vastly interested in ropes, strings, and generally tying things and people up. One morning he ran inside apparently concerned and surprised: "Abby's tied like a little doggie to my bike and she can't get out. She needs help!" he said.

As I cooked in the kitchen, I overheard Josiah talking to one of his sisters. He said, "Forget it, kid. You're doomed."

As I put sunscreen on Josiah one day, he looked down at his arms and objected: "But Mom, I don't wanna be a white boy!"

Jeremy took Josiah along to Ace Hardware one night a month or so ago. When they exited after making their purchases, Josiah exclaimed in surprise and delight, "Look, Dad! Nobody stole our car!"