Josiahisms

This post has now been months in the making--I keep adding funnies but just haven't taken the time to organize them and publish it! So these Josiahisms range from around October till now.

In the midst of a rough week of lots of tantrums, meltdowns, defiance, and disobedience, it's good for me to re-read the cute, funny things he says and remind myself that the difficult behaviors don't actually dominate all of life . . .

He's a much-adored older brother! Here he's with Lydia

1. Why?

Sometime between September and October, Josiah suddenly and solidly entered the why stage. It took me by surprise! These days he's quick to ask "Why?" about nearly everything. We regularly remind him to say, "Yes, Mom," or "Yes, Dad" before asking "Why?" when we give him instructions. He likes to question the reasons behind everything:

Me: "Hey Bud, sit down on your bum and face forward while eating."
Josiah: "Why?"

Me: "Don't lick the wall, please."
Josiah: "Why?"

Me: "Let's buckle you in the carseat now."
Josiah: "Why?"

One day he looked into the toilet after using it and asked, "Why is it poop, Mom?" Sometimes when they enter philosophical stratosphere, I'm really not sure how to answer these whys. . . .

About a month ago, Jeremy let the kids watch a clip of Jim Craig rounding up the wild horse mob in The Man from Snowy River. They were mesmerized. Afterwards he told Josiah that this came from one of Mama's favorite movies when she was a kid. Josiah turned to me and asked, "You was a kid, Mom?" I responded in the affirmative. "Why?" he asked.

Clippers!

During our walk this morning, we saw a woman out running with her dog. She was wearing short shorts and a sports bra. As she approached us, Josiah said (in a bit of a shocked voice), "She's nakey!" Then he asked, "Why is she nakey, Mom?" By then she was passing us, so he raised his voice and said, "Hey! Why are you nakey?"

Sporting his bow tie from Aunt Hannah

2. Potty Conversations

Josiah rushed inside, yelling, "I hafta go potty!" I helped him pull his pants down and hauled him onto the toilet, where he let out a sigh and said, "I miss Lydia and Abby." I reminded him they were only in the back yard, and he'd be back there in a couple minutes. Then he said, "I might fight them! I'm gonna get my sword and fight them!"

How could this contemplative guy relish such gross conversation?

"Look at my long poop! It looks like a hoe," Josiah said one day. He likes to examine the poop he produces and wax eloquent with the similes . . .

"Why do bad guys not wear undies, Mom?" Josiah asked out of the blue.

While washing his hands after using the potty one afternoon, Josiah said, as if to himself, "Hmmm . . . what I am going to do? I know! Fight the enemies!"

Here he's "roping" Abby to "take her to jail"--a game she eagerly participates in

3. Who Is Josiah?

Josiah does lots of pretending! He's constantly changing (and informing us of) his future career plans. Today, for instance, he planned to be a "fireman," "worker guy," "mechanical guy who fixes cars," "cowboy with a gun and a rope," and probably a few I'm forgetting.

Hardhat and spray bottle . . . what else could a boy want?

A few days ago I overheard him talking to the girls outside: "Lydia and Abby, you please call me 'Pirate Captain'?"

At lunch several weeks ago, Josiah described his plans to catch and fight bulls (sometimes he calls them "fat cows"). At first he planned to rope them, possibly shoot them, probably sword fight them, etc. Then he said he would butt them with his horns. "Are you a bull, too?" I asked. "No, I'm just a boy with horns," he said, as if it should have been self-evident.

"Why I'm Josiah all day long?" Josiah asked me at lunchtime one day. "Why I'm not Daddy? I want to be Daddy, not Josiah."

Josiah and Daddy check out Daddy's grilling job on a chicken

"Daddy is my favorite uncle," Josiah told me a couple weeks ago. (But he does really love his actual uncles!)

Josiah and the girls were playing in the living room after lunch the other day while I cleaned up in the kitchen. I overheard Josiah say (very politely), "Lydia, you like to join us for our recess in the lions' den?" When she declined, he reassured her: "They're not real lions; they're fake lions!"

Tree-climbing siblings

One morning Josiah informed me that he wanted Hobbes (of Calvin and Hobbes) to come to our house--"but not Calvin! [or "Talvin," as he pronounces it]." He continued, "Maybe I let Hobbes play in my backyard with me. He can try my bike. But not Talvin. He'd knock down my toys."

 4. More Miscellaneous Mealtime Musings

Recently Josiah has proposed marriage to me a few times. The other night he said, "When I grow up, you marry me, Mom?"

I responded in the negative, saying that I was already married to Daddy. "You could find another lady to marry, though," I said.

He was a little put out. "I wanna live alone," he said.

Jeremy asked, "Do you want to have a dog?"

"Yes--better than a woman," Josiah answered.

(Just to be sure, I asked him to repeat what he said. "Better than a wife," he affirmed.)

Lately Josiah often tells me his plan to get a dog--"a little tiny dog named Salty." (He came up with this name all by himself.) During a lunch some time ago he discussed Salty at length: "I'll let Lydia and Abby pet Salty, and maybe I'll take him with me on my fort, and maybe he'll sleep in my bed" etc. etc. He's got quite the imagination and a clear idea of his goals!

Tonight at dinner Abby saw a fly come through the dining room. (She's recently developed a terror of bees and imagines that almost every flying bug is a bee.) After we reassured her that the fly was gone, Josiah mused aloud, "And where is the wicked flea . . .?"